1 00:00:17,483 --> 00:00:21,832 present 2 00:00:27,932 --> 00:00:32,318 FIMFARUM THIRD TIME LUCKY 3 00:00:35,707 --> 00:00:40,216 Based on fairytales by Jan Werich 4 00:00:49,601 --> 00:00:53,244 HOW THE OGRES DIED OUT IN THE MOUNTAlNS 5 00:00:58,393 --> 00:01:03,543 Our newsreel crew is going to follow an unusual natural phenomenon 6 00:01:03,617 --> 00:01:07,374 hiding in the solemn woods of the Mountains. 7 00:01:08,333 --> 00:01:11,854 They've just completed the final preparations. 8 00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:14,923 And we can see them setting off for the woods 9 00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:18,971 to reach understanding of another miracle of nature. 10 00:01:21,917 --> 00:01:24,138 The most sophisticated technology 11 00:01:24,232 --> 00:01:28,544 is carefully stacked in the car 12 00:01:28,628 --> 00:01:32,704 and the crew can leave the grounds of the studios. 13 00:01:37,891 --> 00:01:40,124 Off to the mountains then! 14 00:01:41,957 --> 00:01:45,450 The well coordinated team will work under the guidance 15 00:01:45,536 --> 00:01:49,554 of the director Radomil Janek, an experienced documentarist. 16 00:01:58,277 --> 00:02:00,815 And Janek leans on the knowledge 17 00:02:00,901 --> 00:02:05,396 gleaned from the legends of the Mountain Ogres. 18 00:02:06,312 --> 00:02:10,721 The same way he managed to reveal the meek nature of the Wild Goose, 19 00:02:11,246 --> 00:02:13,717 the fierce nature of the Lesser Goose 20 00:02:13,794 --> 00:02:16,180 and the small size of the Great Goose, 21 00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:19,358 he believes he can reveal the truth again 22 00:02:19,454 --> 00:02:22,231 and record it on celluloid. 23 00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:27,451 The legend of the Ogres has existed for centuries 24 00:02:27,527 --> 00:02:30,714 in the narratives of the frugal Mountain people. 25 00:02:31,268 --> 00:02:35,052 No wonder the team heads for the Mountains. 26 00:02:37,049 --> 00:02:42,390 In the hope they can find someone who may remember someone 27 00:02:42,391 --> 00:02:46,604 who may remember something about the Ogres. 28 00:02:47,656 --> 00:02:51,869 We wish our team of intrepid filmmakers all the best. 29 00:02:58,052 --> 00:02:59,762 There! 30 00:03:02,437 --> 00:03:04,100 THE ANTLER 31 00:03:24,318 --> 00:03:27,051 Ogres, we are looking for ogres! 32 00:03:52,535 --> 00:03:55,555 First, let's recap what did an ogre look like. 33 00:03:55,640 --> 00:04:00,294 At first sight - a man. 34 00:04:01,144 --> 00:04:05,358 But a huge one, enormous, 35 00:04:05,444 --> 00:04:08,625 his size rather over the top. 36 00:04:10,145 --> 00:04:14,483 And this excessiveness is what made them inhuman. 37 00:04:14,569 --> 00:04:18,592 Because what makes a man human? 38 00:04:19,232 --> 00:04:24,009 Exactly that he's not too big and not too small either. 39 00:04:25,806 --> 00:04:29,313 Such men settled in the valleys, 40 00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:32,781 while high on the mountains 41 00:04:33,938 --> 00:04:38,801 at sunset the ogres stood tall on the highest ridges. 42 00:04:38,878 --> 00:04:42,146 And as they stood with their backs to the sun, 43 00:04:42,231 --> 00:04:45,089 they noticed their shadows growing longer. 44 00:04:45,174 --> 00:04:49,914 The lower the sun set, the further the shadows reached. 45 00:04:51,596 --> 00:04:55,618 Guys, says the Cherkhov ogre, 46 00:04:55,819 --> 00:04:58,361 Iet's play 'Who's Bigger'! 47 00:05:00,797 --> 00:05:05,422 And how do you play it? Hollered the other ogres. 48 00:05:06,138 --> 00:05:10,046 Easy, said the first ogre. 49 00:05:10,247 --> 00:05:13,314 The one whose shadow falls further on the land 50 00:05:13,391 --> 00:05:18,493 is bigger than the one whose shadow falls short. 51 00:05:19,335 --> 00:05:22,593 Since then the ogres could be seen in the Mountains 52 00:05:22,678 --> 00:05:27,255 balancing on tiptoes to stretch their shadows, 53 00:05:27,341 --> 00:05:32,998 whooping and shouting on the hills, teasing one another like schoolboys, 54 00:05:33,237 --> 00:05:36,782 in short, playing 'Who's Bigger'. 55 00:05:36,868 --> 00:05:40,652 Now, it's hard to tell today which of those ogres 56 00:05:40,738 --> 00:05:43,710 first started to cheat, to play false. 57 00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:49,013 He put two fine big flat rocks under his feet. 58 00:05:49,098 --> 00:05:55,309 Sure enough it was his shadow that won. 59 00:05:56,074 --> 00:05:59,418 At that time the ogres couldn't see his trick, 60 00:05:59,944 --> 00:06:02,963 they had no clue about physics. 61 00:06:03,050 --> 00:06:05,906 An intellectual though lived in the valley. 62 00:06:06,001 --> 00:06:10,578 He explained the trick to a cattle shepherd. 63 00:06:10,664 --> 00:06:14,238 The silly boy told five different ogres 64 00:06:14,334 --> 00:06:18,548 and so it happened that every time they played, 65 00:06:18,634 --> 00:06:23,736 there were various surprises: 'cause they all started to cheat. 66 00:06:23,813 --> 00:06:29,268 Once an ogre cast his shadow far beyond Dresden. 67 00:06:29,355 --> 00:06:34,093 And so he says he's playing no more, that he's the biggest. 68 00:06:34,772 --> 00:06:39,034 Scientists will hardly find out today 69 00:06:40,391 --> 00:06:42,670 who hit who first. 70 00:07:29,936 --> 00:07:33,419 The brawl following that punch 71 00:07:34,073 --> 00:07:36,996 was truly magnificent. 72 00:07:37,804 --> 00:07:40,844 The ogres' breath full of fury and curses, 73 00:07:40,930 --> 00:07:44,095 and slaps flying between hilltops 74 00:07:44,701 --> 00:07:50,107 Iifted a dark cloud of dust, leaves and needles, 75 00:07:50,319 --> 00:07:55,936 and in that darkness it seemed the mountains were crumbling. 76 00:07:57,782 --> 00:08:03,910 The ogres pummeled one another, sparks flew off the crushing rocks, 77 00:08:03,996 --> 00:08:07,718 village folk ran away for dear life, 78 00:08:07,815 --> 00:08:12,777 yet many were left dead under the avalanches 79 00:08:13,586 --> 00:08:16,029 and ruin of the ogres' war. 80 00:08:18,203 --> 00:08:21,002 And all of that was caused by ogres. 81 00:08:21,088 --> 00:08:23,647 It wasn't enough for them to be giants, 82 00:08:23,733 --> 00:08:27,822 they strove to be even more colossal. 83 00:08:28,072 --> 00:08:34,121 That's why playing 'Who's Bigger' should be once and for all banned. 84 00:09:43,655 --> 00:09:47,252 As we know, legends don't always reflect the truth. 85 00:09:47,339 --> 00:09:50,628 But thanks to our truly professional journalists 86 00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:55,034 we can rest assured that the Ogres aren't living in the Mountains, 87 00:09:55,044 --> 00:09:58,246 never have and never will. 88 00:10:01,584 --> 00:10:05,826 So you say Yetti, yeah? Where do you say they saw him? 89 00:10:08,606 --> 00:10:10,606 Gentlemen? Let's go! 90 00:10:17,186 --> 00:10:21,197 THE HAT WITH THE LlTTLE JAY FEATHER 91 00:12:07,069 --> 00:12:11,360 The King had three sons. One day he summoned two of them. 92 00:12:11,446 --> 00:12:15,254 The third one, Jack, he didn't take seriously. 93 00:12:20,113 --> 00:12:27,173 It's interesting, that Jacks are often not taken seriously, 94 00:12:27,249 --> 00:12:30,654 although - as will be revealed in this fairytale - 95 00:12:30,740 --> 00:12:34,146 in the end they gain their due respect. 96 00:12:48,718 --> 00:12:50,632 When I was young, 97 00:12:50,921 --> 00:12:54,730 I forgot my beloved hat in a little pub in a Faraway Land. 98 00:12:54,816 --> 00:13:00,549 It had a jolly jay feather on it. I hadn't time to go back for it. 99 00:13:00,626 --> 00:13:05,474 I had to hurry to see what was beyond the forest, 100 00:13:06,051 --> 00:13:09,523 and what was beyond the mountain that was beyond the forest, 101 00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:12,774 and what was beyond the sea that was beyond the mountain, 102 00:13:12,870 --> 00:13:17,190 and what was beyond the desert that was beyond the sea. 103 00:13:20,527 --> 00:13:24,413 Now I know what lies beyond all the seas, 104 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,866 all the mountains, and the forests, 105 00:13:26,952 --> 00:13:30,425 and the knowledge just brings me sorrow. 106 00:14:07,427 --> 00:14:12,035 If I had my beloved hat with the jay feather, maybe I'd forget, 107 00:14:12,362 --> 00:14:15,642 maybe I'd become curious again. 108 00:14:17,219 --> 00:14:20,766 I feel sad without that hat. 109 00:14:21,734 --> 00:14:26,036 I feel sad without the jolly jay feather. 110 00:14:26,928 --> 00:14:29,477 In other words, my sons, 111 00:14:29,563 --> 00:14:33,559 I'll exchange my crown for the hat with the jay feather. 112 00:14:33,645 --> 00:14:40,345 He who brings me my hat shall wear my crown and be king! 113 00:14:44,436 --> 00:14:48,625 From that moment things started to happen fast. 114 00:14:53,034 --> 00:14:56,905 The first-born son, Speedy, got himself 115 00:14:56,991 --> 00:15:03,901 a twentyfour-cylinder Bugaseratti Monopost racer. 116 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,734 He set out for the hat 117 00:15:12,133 --> 00:15:14,041 Iike a shot. 118 00:15:26,566 --> 00:15:29,834 The second-born, Strongman, himself built 119 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:34,990 a combination caterpillar wheeled bulldozer-digger. 120 00:15:43,232 --> 00:15:46,576 He went slowly but surely 121 00:15:46,835 --> 00:15:49,624 and made terrible racket. 122 00:16:02,217 --> 00:16:06,730 Time went by and not a word from Speedy or Strongman. 123 00:16:28,159 --> 00:16:31,236 JUNKYARD 124 00:17:49,304 --> 00:17:54,296 Jack would sneak off to the station to carry luggage for the passengers 125 00:17:54,383 --> 00:17:57,967 and finally he had saved up 15 hundred crowns. 126 00:18:02,059 --> 00:18:06,448 Just at that time news came back from both his brothers. 127 00:18:06,535 --> 00:18:09,324 And it was not exactly good. 128 00:18:22,481 --> 00:18:25,558 As long as the roads were concrete or tarmac, 129 00:18:25,634 --> 00:18:30,063 Speedy on his Bugaseratti swooshed past and was gone. 130 00:18:32,755 --> 00:18:34,987 But then came the bad roads. 131 00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:39,061 Full of cracks and potholes, ridges and mud. 132 00:18:39,790 --> 00:18:42,377 Speedy didn't slow down. 133 00:18:42,463 --> 00:18:46,622 So his crank-shaft broke down, and his piston-rod. 134 00:18:56,455 --> 00:19:00,011 CHEAP CARS - JALOPIES 135 00:20:15,557 --> 00:20:20,273 Strongman on his bull-digger went on slowly but surely. 136 00:20:21,078 --> 00:20:25,353 He didn't mind the potholes, didn't care about boulders, 137 00:20:25,429 --> 00:20:29,540 on the contrary, he moved through obstacles easily. 138 00:20:53,490 --> 00:20:56,883 Till he got to the marshes. Strongman forgot 139 00:20:56,968 --> 00:21:00,399 his bull-digger special was too heavy. 140 00:21:01,405 --> 00:21:05,805 The bog opened up, the road sank into it, and glug glug... 141 00:22:04,762 --> 00:22:09,630 Jack didn't say a word, took his 1 5 hundred and bought a moped. 142 00:22:41,055 --> 00:22:44,323 He was ready to go get his dad's hat. 143 00:22:44,409 --> 00:22:47,726 The old King didn't want to let him go. 144 00:22:51,051 --> 00:22:53,600 But with the boy insisting, 145 00:22:53,686 --> 00:22:59,120 he gave in, gave him money to buy petrol, and let him go. 146 00:23:18,949 --> 00:23:23,855 And so Jack went. He rode on concrete roads, tarmac roads, 147 00:23:23,941 --> 00:23:29,376 roads full of bumps, pot-holes, and mud, but he rode well. 148 00:23:57,561 --> 00:24:02,152 He stepped on it and put put put, scooted on and on 149 00:24:02,314 --> 00:24:05,515 to get his dad the hat of his youth. 150 00:24:05,630 --> 00:24:10,748 On the steepest hills Jack had to use a bit more gas, 151 00:24:10,872 --> 00:24:14,696 but the air-cooled moped took him all the way 152 00:24:14,791 --> 00:24:19,450 to the little pub called "The Forgotten Youth". 153 00:24:42,968 --> 00:24:48,229 There it hung, the forgotten hat with the jay feather. 154 00:24:48,804 --> 00:24:51,516 The landlord still remembered the King, 155 00:24:51,602 --> 00:24:55,273 or rather the young prince, as he then was. 156 00:24:55,360 --> 00:25:00,620 Yes, yes, that's his hat, he forgot it here, that's right. 157 00:25:00,716 --> 00:25:06,504 But if I return it, what on earth shall I call my pub? 158 00:25:07,146 --> 00:25:12,140 Why not: "The Returned Youth"? suggested Jack. 159 00:25:12,226 --> 00:25:18,062 As a name for a leisure establishment it's even more inviting, isn't it? 160 00:25:18,906 --> 00:25:21,647 Why didn't I think of it myself? 161 00:25:21,743 --> 00:25:25,969 And I could have worn the hat, such a nice hat... 162 00:26:34,290 --> 00:26:37,823 Yippee! You have a new king 163 00:26:37,910 --> 00:26:42,495 and I have a jolly jay feather on my hat, yippee!! 164 00:26:46,201 --> 00:26:48,605 So, my dear lad, 165 00:26:48,702 --> 00:26:52,311 be a good and just king, 166 00:26:52,408 --> 00:26:55,699 do what you can, and I'll be off. 167 00:27:03,634 --> 00:27:06,376 And so the King went. Leisurely but happily, 168 00:27:06,452 --> 00:27:08,538 on the way stopping to talk to people, 169 00:27:08,624 --> 00:27:11,800 here pondering, there giving some advice, 170 00:27:11,888 --> 00:27:15,787 now and then turning his head to look at a nice lady. 171 00:27:18,093 --> 00:27:20,777 From time to time Jack got a postcard: 172 00:27:20,864 --> 00:27:26,096 Don't worry dear Jack, I'll be back. 173 00:27:33,152 --> 00:27:39,300 Meanwhile Jack bought a stronger bike. 250cc, then 500cc, 174 00:27:40,034 --> 00:27:44,938 then the four-cylinder four-stroke Sunray motorcycle. 175 00:27:50,092 --> 00:27:53,954 It goes without saying he won every race. 176 00:27:54,687 --> 00:27:58,664 All sorts of helmets, iron, brass, silver, gold. 177 00:28:02,573 --> 00:28:06,598 He won races on flat track, round track and on oval. 178 00:28:17,187 --> 00:28:20,923 When he couldn't win any more bike races, he switched over to cars. 179 00:28:34,262 --> 00:28:38,568 He became the undisputed world champion of all races and classes. 180 00:28:45,537 --> 00:28:47,545 He went fast, 181 00:28:48,472 --> 00:28:50,759 then even faster, 182 00:28:55,237 --> 00:28:59,861 but time always caught up with him. He was getting old. 183 00:29:01,271 --> 00:29:04,852 Then one day he entered the hill race Ecce Homo. 184 00:29:08,076 --> 00:29:12,101 It's a steep road full of curves. 185 00:29:12,545 --> 00:29:16,010 And he was in the lead from the start. 186 00:29:24,061 --> 00:29:27,236 What is the world like? What are people like? 187 00:29:27,323 --> 00:29:29,939 I've been going at dizzying speed for so many years 188 00:29:30,016 --> 00:29:32,149 that the world has become a blur. 189 00:29:32,237 --> 00:29:35,286 Gee, haven't I flown through my life fast! 190 00:29:35,374 --> 00:29:38,743 And he walked away. Went home. On foot. 191 00:29:53,414 --> 00:29:56,223 Right after the greeting he asked for his father. 192 00:29:56,310 --> 00:29:59,167 He was waiting for you, your Majesty, waiting, 193 00:29:59,244 --> 00:30:03,462 until one afternoon he had a nap and never woke up. 194 00:30:03,559 --> 00:30:07,334 We sent you a telegram but they couldn't deliver it. 195 00:30:07,420 --> 00:30:12,044 But your father left something for you. It's in your bedroom. 196 00:31:06,842 --> 00:31:09,612 So much beauty, all of a sudden! 197 00:31:09,825 --> 00:31:15,249 So much beauty, mystery and perfection, 198 00:31:15,336 --> 00:31:21,214 and it all has purpose, rhythm and honour in its simplicity. 199 00:31:21,456 --> 00:31:22,714 Yippee! 200 00:31:25,012 --> 00:31:29,106 Jack walked as far as the pub "The Returned Youth". 201 00:32:06,383 --> 00:32:08,473 He ordered a pilsener. 202 00:32:09,418 --> 00:32:13,551 The beer was filled and served by a pretty girl. 203 00:32:19,867 --> 00:32:25,030 He had another. It was filled and served by a beautiful girl. 204 00:32:30,203 --> 00:32:35,205 He had a third. It was filled and served by a goddess. 205 00:32:41,882 --> 00:32:46,647 He ordered a fourth pilsener, but the young girl talked him out of it. 206 00:32:47,243 --> 00:32:51,962 And so he married her, brought her home and they had three sons. 207 00:32:52,057 --> 00:32:56,586 They ordered the court milliner to make them three hats 208 00:32:56,671 --> 00:32:59,347 with a jolly jay feather on each of them. 209 00:32:59,707 --> 00:33:01,314 Yippee! 210 00:33:12,368 --> 00:33:16,501 REASON AND LUCK 211 00:33:53,144 --> 00:33:56,330 -C'mon, let me pass. -You are in my way! 212 00:33:56,425 --> 00:34:00,198 -C'mon, man, back off! -Why don't you step aside. 213 00:34:00,284 --> 00:34:05,248 -I'm in a hurry. Back off! -Can't you see you are in my way? 214 00:34:05,333 --> 00:34:09,078 -You move back! -You are obstructing me! 215 00:34:09,163 --> 00:34:12,737 I need to cross and you are blocking me. 216 00:34:12,832 --> 00:34:17,522 So back off, I'll cross first. 217 00:34:17,598 --> 00:34:20,562 Why don't you back off. 218 00:34:20,563 --> 00:34:23,479 People need me more than they need you. 219 00:34:23,565 --> 00:34:27,844 Ha, ha! That's what you say, your lordship! 220 00:34:27,921 --> 00:34:31,557 I'm in demand, sir, I could work till I drop! 221 00:34:32,324 --> 00:34:35,769 -And who are you, anyway? -You tell me first! 222 00:34:35,846 --> 00:34:40,249 Quickly, or else I'll shove you and the water will take you. 223 00:34:42,369 --> 00:34:45,401 They call me Reason, and you? 224 00:34:50,773 --> 00:34:52,682 They call me Luck. 225 00:34:56,817 --> 00:35:01,413 And so Mr. Reason and master Luck stood in the middle of the bridge 226 00:35:01,777 --> 00:35:04,378 until finally Reason conceded. 227 00:35:06,219 --> 00:35:09,654 He backed off and stood on the bank. 228 00:35:11,141 --> 00:35:13,933 There you go, says the hairy one. 229 00:35:14,940 --> 00:35:19,459 And next time do not boast that people crave you more than me! 230 00:35:20,226 --> 00:35:23,815 I don't know about crave, but everybody will tell you 231 00:35:23,901 --> 00:35:27,777 that you cannnot live well without Reason. 232 00:35:31,547 --> 00:35:36,258 -Without Luck you meant to say! -Without Reason, I said. 233 00:35:36,344 --> 00:35:42,743 -Without Luck! -Without Reason! 234 00:35:43,069 --> 00:35:45,382 They would have argued till the night 235 00:35:45,468 --> 00:35:49,152 if a herd of muddy pigs didn't pass them. 236 00:36:01,835 --> 00:36:04,991 After the pigs went a pig-herder, quite a handsome boy 237 00:36:05,078 --> 00:36:09,548 except he was wearing rags filthy as his pigs. 238 00:36:10,038 --> 00:36:12,398 Hey, why argue, wise man. 239 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:18,758 If people really do need you more, try to do something with this boy. 240 00:36:19,603 --> 00:36:23,076 See, what good is reason to him when he tends swine. 241 00:36:23,843 --> 00:36:28,726 All right. I will enter his head and you will see! 242 00:36:32,890 --> 00:36:37,563 When you meet a sticky end you'll come begging! Cheerio! 243 00:36:40,614 --> 00:36:45,161 And so it happened that Reason entered the pig-herder's head 244 00:36:47,972 --> 00:36:50,121 and Luck went on his way. 245 00:37:04,502 --> 00:37:06,814 DREAMS - lNSTlNCTS 246 00:37:07,380 --> 00:37:09,817 DEVIATlONS - lQ 247 00:37:10,104 --> 00:37:12,944 SEX - KNOWLEDGES 248 00:37:34,147 --> 00:37:35,336 REASON 249 00:38:02,478 --> 00:38:04,751 INTELLlGENCE 250 00:38:11,966 --> 00:38:14,278 PASSWORD 251 00:38:18,403 --> 00:38:22,279 The boy chased his pigs home 252 00:38:23,450 --> 00:38:25,925 and went to have a wash. 253 00:38:51,454 --> 00:38:56,337 What's all that about? Getting yourself ready for a wedding? 254 00:38:56,462 --> 00:38:59,369 Father, I'm through with pigs. 255 00:39:03,667 --> 00:39:07,255 I want to be a gardener. This is getting me nowhere. 256 00:39:09,625 --> 00:39:11,659 Father wasn't a bad man 257 00:39:11,745 --> 00:39:14,499 but such talk went against his grain. 258 00:39:14,585 --> 00:39:17,616 He started disputing, tried to talk his son out of it 259 00:39:17,703 --> 00:39:19,708 railed against it, 260 00:39:20,591 --> 00:39:23,306 but the boy no, no and no, he will be a gardener, 261 00:39:23,392 --> 00:39:27,143 he will learn his trade in the Royal gardens. 262 00:39:30,549 --> 00:39:32,823 Then Father gets really mad and shouts. 263 00:39:32,909 --> 00:39:38,032 If Lew prefers pie in the sky, off with him wherever he likes! 264 00:39:40,632 --> 00:39:43,789 And that's exactly what the boy did. 265 00:39:50,437 --> 00:39:52,193 He set off in the morning 266 00:39:52,279 --> 00:39:56,031 and in the evening he met the Royal Gardener. 267 00:40:02,803 --> 00:40:06,363 The boy came in handy. A storm the night before 268 00:40:06,449 --> 00:40:09,960 had battered the flowerbeds and work was plentiful. 269 00:40:35,930 --> 00:40:39,883 The Gardener noticed Lew was quick on the uptake, 270 00:40:40,536 --> 00:40:44,124 he was suspiciously good to be an apprentice. 271 00:40:45,458 --> 00:40:49,861 He could think for himself, had his own ideas, 272 00:40:50,984 --> 00:40:55,416 it went so far as the boy giving the master Gardener advice. 273 00:41:03,427 --> 00:41:07,581 The old Gardener gave Lew his certificate 274 00:41:07,667 --> 00:41:10,104 promoted him to the Head Gardener, 275 00:41:10,191 --> 00:41:14,786 handed over everything and started to write his memoirs. 276 00:41:15,390 --> 00:41:19,382 Almost every ageing gentleman starts writing his memoirs, 277 00:41:19,468 --> 00:41:21,713 but very few finish them... 278 00:41:21,789 --> 00:41:24,303 And the old Gardener was no exception. 279 00:41:24,390 --> 00:41:27,671 He was stung to death by wasps half way through. 280 00:41:27,757 --> 00:41:30,021 But that's another story. 281 00:41:30,117 --> 00:41:34,751 No, it isn't. The wasps wouldn't have killed him, 282 00:41:34,837 --> 00:41:39,864 were they not swarming around the new head stuck on the gate 283 00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:45,707 among the other heads on the King's orders. 284 00:41:46,839 --> 00:41:49,314 People didn't pay much attention to the heads. 285 00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:51,761 It was well known the King had declared 286 00:41:51,847 --> 00:41:57,325 that whoever makes his daughter Zasu speak, 287 00:41:57,402 --> 00:42:01,642 he will become her husband and King. 288 00:42:01,728 --> 00:42:05,605 But if he doesn't succeed in 3 days, he will lose his head. 289 00:42:05,729 --> 00:42:09,077 Nobody has succeeded so far. It looked like 290 00:42:09,174 --> 00:42:12,963 the King would have a huge collection of noble heads. 291 00:42:13,894 --> 00:42:18,921 As a distraction the King ordered a funeral for the Gardener 292 00:42:19,093 --> 00:42:23,008 and a nation-wide campaign against wasps. 293 00:42:24,697 --> 00:42:27,440 The pig-herder, now Head Gardener, 294 00:42:27,536 --> 00:42:32,055 adorned the coffin of his teacher so beautifully with flowers, 295 00:42:32,141 --> 00:42:35,969 that many at the ceremony envied the deceased 296 00:42:37,860 --> 00:42:41,418 and almost wished to be in his place. 297 00:42:47,626 --> 00:42:50,216 The King was carried away. 298 00:43:52,249 --> 00:43:55,800 The King had the creator of the floral decoration summoned. 299 00:44:04,213 --> 00:44:06,957 He praised him, gave him a raise, 300 00:44:07,053 --> 00:44:12,445 appointed him to several commissions for the state parks and reserves 301 00:44:19,611 --> 00:44:24,091 and finally asked him if he had any special wish 302 00:44:24,658 --> 00:44:28,332 as he, the King, would gladly grant it. 303 00:44:28,975 --> 00:44:33,935 Allow me, your Majesty, to try healing your daughter 304 00:44:34,021 --> 00:44:36,622 the beautiful princess Zasu. 305 00:44:39,259 --> 00:44:44,258 If you fail I'll lose my Gardener and you your head. 306 00:44:44,747 --> 00:44:47,376 That won't happen, your Majesty. 307 00:44:47,462 --> 00:44:52,183 All right, you may dare, but I warned you! 308 00:44:55,272 --> 00:44:58,706 The King's coterie was not well pleased. 309 00:45:00,106 --> 00:45:05,143 Coterie is a foreign word for gentlemen who suck up to monarchs, 310 00:45:05,230 --> 00:45:08,866 always nod approval but secretly think something else. 311 00:45:08,952 --> 00:45:13,260 They arrange everything to suit themselves. 312 00:45:17,519 --> 00:45:20,868 The head of the coterie was the lnterior Minister, 313 00:45:20,954 --> 00:45:25,991 then the Chief Bailiff and then other public and secret agents. 314 00:45:31,843 --> 00:45:35,594 Those two-faced fellows agreed that when the boy comes 315 00:45:35,681 --> 00:45:39,720 to see the Princess, they will listen at the keyhole. 316 00:45:47,769 --> 00:45:52,000 Before going to the Princess Lew sought the advice of Reason. 317 00:45:52,086 --> 00:45:56,567 He realised he had to put on clean and simple clothes. 318 00:46:11,657 --> 00:46:18,009 Afterwards he thought some more, even faster and wiser. 319 00:46:21,376 --> 00:46:26,413 I must not talk to her. A woman who doesn't wilt but blossoms 320 00:46:26,500 --> 00:46:31,095 is not mute because of a disease, she knows why she doesn't talk. 321 00:46:31,584 --> 00:46:34,337 And Lew went to see the Princess. 322 00:47:04,472 --> 00:47:08,827 He found the Princess in the pink room embroidering. 323 00:47:08,914 --> 00:47:12,512 The young man stepped up to the mirror and said: 324 00:47:13,116 --> 00:47:16,512 Hello, mirror, I came to seek your advice. 325 00:47:22,201 --> 00:47:24,110 It happened this way: 326 00:47:27,401 --> 00:47:32,601 When I went to learn my trade I met a wood-carver and a tailor 327 00:47:32,725 --> 00:47:35,805 who were going the same way. 328 00:47:43,289 --> 00:47:46,003 Once we settled down for the night in the woods. 329 00:47:46,090 --> 00:47:50,609 The woodcarver cut out a beautiful maid from a block of limewood. 330 00:47:51,932 --> 00:47:55,808 The tailor made her a stunning dress. 331 00:47:59,934 --> 00:48:02,927 And I then taught her to speak. 332 00:48:05,738 --> 00:48:09,806 And then we had a terrible argument over the maid. 333 00:48:12,578 --> 00:48:16,378 The woodcarver claimed her for himself, as he'd created her. 334 00:48:19,582 --> 00:48:23,381 The tailor wanted her, as he'd dressed her. 335 00:48:26,624 --> 00:48:29,579 And I was trying to prove that she was mine, 336 00:48:29,665 --> 00:48:32,179 as I'd taught her to speak. 337 00:48:32,821 --> 00:48:36,295 Mirror, please tell me, who is right? 338 00:48:36,391 --> 00:48:40,909 You are right! Said the mirror, in fact, the Princess. 339 00:48:42,309 --> 00:48:44,507 Thank you, mirror. 340 00:48:45,188 --> 00:48:49,188 Stop talking to the mirror and come and talk to me! 341 00:48:51,548 --> 00:48:56,749 And they talked. Firstly about why Zasu was silent for so long. 342 00:48:57,314 --> 00:49:01,430 When all the time you hear the same thing again and again, 343 00:49:01,516 --> 00:49:07,311 e.g. "say something, c'mon, speak, why don't you?" 344 00:49:07,436 --> 00:49:10,957 "tell us why you don't speak, say something, go on," 345 00:49:11,044 --> 00:49:15,351 "say A, say B, say C, say it, say it" 346 00:49:15,438 --> 00:49:18,190 whom should I have talked to? 347 00:49:18,287 --> 00:49:21,241 Whatever you say, nothing ever changes. 348 00:49:22,201 --> 00:49:27,352 Daddy... he's a dear old man, but as a King, he's no good. 349 00:49:27,449 --> 00:49:30,164 The lnterior Minister... 350 00:49:34,088 --> 00:49:38,520 She looked around and in a quiet shy voice said: 351 00:49:39,134 --> 00:49:43,077 Come next door and I will make everything clear to you. 352 00:49:45,734 --> 00:49:49,294 The lnterior Minister, used to watching everyone, 353 00:49:49,371 --> 00:49:54,734 noticed the Princess had a hole on her left stocking. 354 00:49:59,012 --> 00:50:03,608 The Princess and the young man entered the bedroom 355 00:50:03,694 --> 00:50:05,776 and locked the door. 356 00:50:05,863 --> 00:50:08,818 Well, he had to sit by the keyhole for a long while. 357 00:50:13,941 --> 00:50:19,303 His eye got all swollen up before the bedroom lock clicked. 358 00:50:22,143 --> 00:50:26,144 The Princess walked out with rosy cheeks 359 00:50:26,230 --> 00:50:30,221 and her hair somewhat tousled 360 00:50:30,951 --> 00:50:32,783 and Lew behind her. 361 00:50:33,071 --> 00:50:36,179 He couldn't keep his eyes off her. 362 00:50:36,266 --> 00:50:40,937 They held hands and looked into each other's laughing eyes 363 00:50:41,188 --> 00:50:44,267 and they kept looking. 364 00:50:46,070 --> 00:50:49,226 But the minister also kept looking 365 00:50:49,352 --> 00:50:53,544 and noticed that the hole blinking from the left calf a while ago 366 00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:56,547 was now on the right calf of the Princess. 367 00:50:57,237 --> 00:51:02,428 Why did the girl change her stockings? He puzzled his head. 368 00:51:02,716 --> 00:51:06,352 Like all interior ministers he thought about nothing but politics 369 00:51:06,438 --> 00:51:09,883 and forgot that life goes on no matter what. 370 00:51:13,442 --> 00:51:16,195 You will come earlier tomorrow, won't you? 371 00:51:16,368 --> 00:51:21,606 And tell Daddy I said hello. Explain everything. 372 00:51:22,767 --> 00:51:25,367 I'll feed it to him bit by bit 373 00:51:25,444 --> 00:51:28,408 to spare his health, he's not 20 anymore. 374 00:51:28,964 --> 00:51:32,245 And tell him not to send anyone to see me, 375 00:51:32,331 --> 00:51:36,370 until we are wed, they won't hear a peep from me. 376 00:51:36,496 --> 00:51:38,520 By the way... 377 00:51:40,612 --> 00:51:43,883 -What's your name? -Lew. 378 00:51:44,295 --> 00:51:48,047 King Lew, that's like from an opera. 379 00:51:48,133 --> 00:51:51,452 We will change it to Louis, that has got a royal ring to it. 380 00:51:51,538 --> 00:51:54,647 -So long, Louis! -So long, Zasu! 381 00:51:57,180 --> 00:51:59,971 The Minister of lnterior just got away 382 00:52:00,097 --> 00:52:05,220 as Lew, I mean Louis, marched out to find the King. 383 00:52:15,024 --> 00:52:17,538 PAUSE 384 00:52:43,240 --> 00:52:46,866 Louis gave the King an account of the treatment. 385 00:52:46,952 --> 00:52:50,512 He didn't go into details, that would be improper, 386 00:52:50,598 --> 00:52:54,312 he only boasted that he had been chatting with Zasu. 387 00:52:55,155 --> 00:52:57,832 The King immediately wanted to run to her. 388 00:52:57,918 --> 00:53:02,034 You can't do that! No, no way. 389 00:53:03,444 --> 00:53:06,918 The Princess won't talk to anyone. Only to me. 390 00:53:07,004 --> 00:53:12,079 -Only after we are together! -How do you mean, together? 391 00:53:12,770 --> 00:53:16,597 Well, after our wedding. When I am king. 392 00:53:23,774 --> 00:53:28,609 The King straightened up, went red in the face, 393 00:53:28,695 --> 00:53:34,202 the blood vessel on his forhead turned to a sausage, he glared... 394 00:53:34,375 --> 00:53:40,169 O my, should I have fed it to him in smaller doses? 395 00:53:40,573 --> 00:53:44,612 What are you blabbering, you filthy gardener! 396 00:53:44,698 --> 00:53:48,017 The King in anger abandons polite language. 397 00:53:48,094 --> 00:53:54,215 You little swine, you bare-assed dirty beggar! 398 00:53:54,301 --> 00:53:58,733 You and my only Zasu? You the king? 399 00:53:58,907 --> 00:54:02,494 I'll have you thrown in jail, I'll chop off your head, 400 00:54:02,581 --> 00:54:04,854 I'll call a judge. 401 00:54:09,949 --> 00:54:13,144 No, I won't, you condemned yourself! 402 00:54:13,911 --> 00:54:18,218 You plotter! You traitor! You spy! 403 00:54:26,633 --> 00:54:29,309 Minister! Minister! Bailiffs! 404 00:54:32,398 --> 00:54:35,948 Guards! Authorities! Here! Here! 405 00:54:42,079 --> 00:54:47,030 Out of nowhere, the Minister: He's a ventriloquist! 406 00:54:48,363 --> 00:54:51,711 The Princess is dumb as a doorknob and he speaks for her 407 00:54:51,720 --> 00:54:54,110 through his belly, I've got evidence! 408 00:54:54,206 --> 00:54:59,837 Hold on, hold on your Majesty and you shush, Minister! 409 00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:05,756 Whoever makes the Princess speak will become her husband and the king. 410 00:55:07,051 --> 00:55:09,843 Did you publicly declare that or not? 411 00:55:09,930 --> 00:55:12,481 www.beking.com 412 00:55:12,645 --> 00:55:15,129 That's got nothing to do with it! 413 00:55:17,653 --> 00:55:20,368 -Did you or did you not promise that? -I did, but... 414 00:55:20,733 --> 00:55:24,771 There you go! So you have to keep your word! 415 00:55:26,690 --> 00:55:31,890 The King choked, stumbled, 416 00:55:34,059 --> 00:55:36,246 struggled for air. 417 00:55:45,504 --> 00:55:47,614 The Minister of interior seized the moment. 418 00:55:47,701 --> 00:55:52,133 I got you! Even if you were right, which you are not, 419 00:55:52,219 --> 00:55:57,256 even if you taught the Princess to speak, which you didn't, 420 00:55:57,342 --> 00:56:00,864 even if you were entitled to anything, which you're not, 421 00:56:02,024 --> 00:56:04,989 you told your King he had to. 422 00:56:05,152 --> 00:56:08,739 Whoever dares to say that, forfeits his life! 423 00:56:08,865 --> 00:56:12,223 Whoever breaks his promise kills hope in people! 424 00:56:12,347 --> 00:56:17,068 He who kills hope kills life. A promise made must be kept! 425 00:56:33,521 --> 00:56:37,512 All of a sudden there were bailiffs who took Louis 426 00:56:37,599 --> 00:56:40,198 and dragged him away to prison. 427 00:57:11,494 --> 00:57:13,968 TORTURE 6 - 12 EXECUTIONS WHILE U WAIT 428 00:57:14,131 --> 00:57:16,280 SlLENCE, TORTURE IN PROGRESS! 429 00:57:55,424 --> 00:57:57,217 CONFESSION 430 00:58:51,294 --> 00:58:53,296 IDEAS RUBBISH DEVIATIONS 431 00:59:06,495 --> 00:59:10,649 Whatever they were doing to poor Louis that night is hard to tell. 432 00:59:11,215 --> 00:59:13,814 All we know is that in the small hours 433 00:59:13,891 --> 00:59:16,165 he agreed to everything they wanted 434 00:59:16,252 --> 00:59:19,292 and signed whatever they put under his pen. 435 00:59:19,379 --> 00:59:23,927 A long list of foiled plots led by the scheming Gardener. 436 00:59:24,022 --> 00:59:28,810 He even trained the wasps to sting whoever he pointed out. 437 00:59:28,896 --> 00:59:31,333 He admitted it himself. 438 00:59:33,539 --> 00:59:36,140 EVENlNG NEWS - MlNISTER: LOUlS IS CONMAN 439 00:59:37,387 --> 00:59:39,977 NEWSWEEK LEW: "l trained the wasps." 440 00:59:45,225 --> 00:59:48,976 The Princess Zasu, as happens with lovers, 441 00:59:49,072 --> 00:59:52,775 awaited Louis full of desire. 442 01:00:02,791 --> 01:00:07,435 The time dragged on, minute after minute, and no sign of Louis. 443 01:00:07,598 --> 01:00:09,862 First of all she got mad. 444 01:00:09,958 --> 01:00:14,026 Ladies tend to do that when their lover is late. 445 01:00:30,920 --> 01:00:36,677 Then she became worried, that's the normal way of a woman's lot. 446 01:00:36,763 --> 01:00:40,236 And she started to cry. From love, from disappointment, 447 01:00:40,323 --> 01:00:43,123 and from fear. Mainly fear for Lew. 448 01:00:43,287 --> 01:00:47,239 Ladies and gentlemen, today for execution 449 01:00:47,325 --> 01:00:51,567 the gardener who wanted to be king. Lew. 450 01:00:59,289 --> 01:01:02,763 They are taking him to the block, people are going quiet, 451 01:01:02,974 --> 01:01:07,281 so do the drums. And in the silence, a voice: 452 01:01:07,377 --> 01:01:10,610 So, you took him as far as here, Mr. Reason! 453 01:01:16,903 --> 01:01:18,688 Congratulations! 454 01:01:22,583 --> 01:01:24,454 But what next? 455 01:01:28,186 --> 01:01:32,014 One of the qualities of Reason is that he's a good loser, 456 01:01:32,100 --> 01:01:34,662 he doesn't suffer from injured pride. 457 01:01:37,386 --> 01:01:40,494 Luck enters Lew, I mean Louis, 458 01:01:40,590 --> 01:01:45,589 and asks Reason strictly to leave, as it is going to get busy. 459 01:01:58,071 --> 01:02:02,312 Mr. Reason, after he had handed Louis, I mean Lew, I mean Louis, 460 01:02:02,398 --> 01:02:05,669 over to the hairy fairy young lad Luck, 461 01:02:05,755 --> 01:02:09,871 raced straight back to Zasu, because he reasonably expected 462 01:02:09,957 --> 01:02:13,114 it would be the place where he'd be needed most. 463 01:02:16,520 --> 01:02:20,395 Zasu stopped crying and started thinking. 464 01:02:20,645 --> 01:02:24,348 Crying will get me nowhere, that stands to reason. 465 01:02:33,443 --> 01:02:38,164 Something must be done! And she went to the King. 466 01:02:40,571 --> 01:02:45,599 He stood over a big globe spinning it this way and that. 467 01:02:45,695 --> 01:02:47,479 That's what he always did, 468 01:02:47,575 --> 01:02:51,490 when he was bothered by conscience and contemplated exile. 469 01:02:51,576 --> 01:02:53,763 Now, daddy, spit it out! 470 01:03:00,939 --> 01:03:03,529 The King told her everything. 471 01:03:03,942 --> 01:03:06,734 How they showed him the signed confessions... 472 01:03:06,821 --> 01:03:11,339 In the interest of the kingdom, of higher justice, in brief... 473 01:03:11,741 --> 01:03:14,246 Natter, patter, gobbledegook! 474 01:03:17,182 --> 01:03:20,693 The Executioner raised his axe for a mighty blow 475 01:03:20,779 --> 01:03:23,456 but Luck had time to see it and crack - 476 01:03:24,224 --> 01:03:29,347 the handle broke, the axe flew up to the sky. 477 01:03:29,711 --> 01:03:35,103 It flew really high, whizzing as it spun and came back down. 478 01:03:35,189 --> 01:03:39,660 By some coincidence the Minister didn't get a chance to escape 479 01:03:40,591 --> 01:03:44,582 and we can say for sure that he didn't suffer. 480 01:03:45,310 --> 01:03:49,830 He didn't even get a moment to notice he got cut in half. 481 01:03:51,671 --> 01:03:54,828 The Executioner didn't panic, took a giant sword 482 01:03:54,914 --> 01:03:57,667 belonging to the Chief Bailiff, stood firm, 483 01:04:01,754 --> 01:04:06,187 took a swing, and the sword broke off... 484 01:04:16,721 --> 01:04:19,272 The scaffold crumbles, with the block, the executioner, 485 01:04:19,282 --> 01:04:21,672 the bailiffs, and Lew. 486 01:04:21,767 --> 01:04:25,644 In the chaos the hairy youth comes from nowhere 487 01:04:25,730 --> 01:04:29,241 and hey presto, both of them get on the executioner's cart. 488 01:04:29,327 --> 01:04:31,447 And then the chase begins. 489 01:04:38,288 --> 01:04:42,932 Meantime, as my esteemed friend Gaius Julius used to say, 490 01:04:43,008 --> 01:04:46,002 the plot in the palace took an unexpected turn. 491 01:04:55,058 --> 01:04:59,577 An abdication, here on the parchment now signed, 492 01:05:06,619 --> 01:05:10,658 promotion of Louis to the rank of nobleman 493 01:05:10,821 --> 01:05:14,581 so that the marriage conforms to the constitution. 494 01:05:43,430 --> 01:05:47,623 They are left with just the front, 495 01:05:48,198 --> 01:05:52,717 everything else fell apart... Aha, he can come in handy. 496 01:05:52,794 --> 01:05:55,873 And they keep going towards the King's palace. 497 01:05:57,044 --> 01:05:59,154 ...transfer of powers to Louis 498 01:05:59,241 --> 01:06:04,479 and should something happen to him, then to herself, 499 01:06:06,561 --> 01:06:11,042 here, see, right on this parchment, and a little seal there... 500 01:06:15,128 --> 01:06:19,283 And should you object, then I will speak from the balcony! 501 01:06:21,172 --> 01:06:25,480 I will speak, you get it? People will hear me themselves 502 01:06:25,566 --> 01:06:28,290 and they will hear that Louis cured me. 503 01:06:28,368 --> 01:06:33,846 And you didn't keep your word. What will you do then? 504 01:06:50,817 --> 01:06:52,938 I won't detain you by relating 505 01:06:53,062 --> 01:06:56,410 how the priest came in handy for the wedding. 506 01:06:56,497 --> 01:07:00,373 You must have guessed he was there for the happy-end. 507 01:07:04,862 --> 01:07:10,177 It goes without saying the young put the kingdom in order. 508 01:07:11,588 --> 01:07:14,140 What lesson can we learn? 509 01:07:14,226 --> 01:07:18,457 That Reason and Luck meet very rarely indeed. 510 01:07:18,553 --> 01:07:24,828 Reason likes well kept roads, properly signposted. 511 01:07:25,355 --> 01:07:28,425 Luck prefers to wander the countryside. 512 01:07:28,588 --> 01:07:34,028 When Luck tires, it settles for any place of rest, be it a cowpat. 513 01:07:45,598 --> 01:07:49,273 But Folly and Misfortune, 514 01:07:50,078 --> 01:07:53,186 they are inseparable companions.